"A woman can't visualize too well because she has too many possibilities. She can be anything. Anything can happen to her. But it's out of her hands. It all depends on this man who's going to find her."
- V.S. Naipaul, Guerrillas
I think this is true of most women, even after marriage. And it's not necessarily a bad thing - we were made to be helpers afterall. I wonder if men long for a helper (as women long to help), or if 'gaining one' is more of a bonus? Of course the situation is difficult if women remain single a while - or if women are so caught up in helping that they forget their own identity. I think the trick is to trust your own worth and usefulness as an individual - and to get on with helping the people who are around you.