What it is to be a Woman

It is tipping down to the water's edge in three-quarter pants, heels and handbag, peering around a moment then retreating, bound by body and dress. It is riding your bike with bravado, and yet not as a man or a neuter. It is the confidence of shapely dress and beguiling dance. It is the weaker sex, even in its great fortitude. It is the grief of women. It is interest in people and it is sisterhood. It is sensitivity and thought and vulnerability. It has a grace, even when ugly and clumsy. It has a beauty. And a softness, though this last is sometimes obscured by hard cares.

What it is to be Wealthy

It is to make use of the money you have, just as you would do if you were middling or poor. To spend large sums of money on socially acceptable ends, buying a car or building a house. It is to gather, or better to grow up with, friends with similar means. To visit each other's homes and give praise for work and creativity. To feel troubled and powerless at poverty and trouble. To make a good community with your neighbours, family and friends and to be glad of that. To get on with life and not notice what you've become.

The Beatitudes

I'm spending this last week before Christmas reviewing the year. I started with my character and have got no further than the most excellent beatitudes. It's my hope that my reflections below will help you, my dear readers, learn more of this part of Matthew 5 or that you will realise your own cause for repentence or praise. In addition, I would value anyone's thoughts on my character, especially if I'm way off the mark. Commenting on this blog or sending me an email (or speaking in person!?) would be appropriate.

Matthew 5:3-10

Am I poor in spirit?

I'm not sure what this means. It might mean being tired or weak or inadequate or morally bankrupt. I have seen myself like this and I have learned that I am never much more than this.

I still need to learn that even when life is good and I'm feeling fine, I continue to be inadequate, weak and sinful and that any gifts and strength and good humour I have come from God.

If I am poor in spirit, then mine is the kingdom of heaven! This because I rely not on myself, but on God. This humility is so good and right that it 'earns' the kingdom.

Do I mourn?

Yes. If I mourn, then I will be comforted. Is this really a blessing? Yes, for I am comforted by God. It is he who is attentive, who gives me relief, peace, security, hope and he who surrounds me with caring friends. I know his love. Of course I would much prefer to experience all this without mourning, but that is not the way it has been. And while the mourning is no less awful, I am truly glad of the comfort I have received.

Am I meek?

Sometimes. I have realised how crucial meekness and humility are. Only a person who is meek will rely on their Lord and will be happy to learn from him and be changed by him. From this, all the other good parts of a person's character can grow. I want to be meek because it is right. I want to be meek because there is security in it, in putting my trust in my good God.

I need to learn to be meek when I don't understand or when I hate what is happening in my life. I need to learn to be meek when I am using the talents God has given me.

If I am meek I will inherit the earth! If I am poor in spirit and meek, I will gain the kingdom of heaven and the earth! These seemingly pathetic, effortless traits will be revealed as righteous and glorious.

Do I hunger and thirst for righteousness?

Yes, but not with my whole heart. I hunger and thirst for righteousness because I want to please God. And because I have seen that righteousness is glorious, that man has greatest dignity and nobility when he is steadfastly good. I want to be one of those people that others look up to and respect. I want to bring honour and not dishonour to my God.

I need to learn to seek righteousness not only with resolve but with passion.

If I hunger and thirst for righteousness, then I will be filled. I know this is true. God has answered my good prayers and I am becoming the person I asked to be. And this not only in my actions, but also in my heart and thoughts. I'm far from full, but I'm filling up!

Am I merciful?

Sometimes. I am becoming more merciful. I am at least remembering that I should be merciful and I sometimes pray for this. Being merciful has grown a bit easier as I have become more humble and meek.

But I have a long way to go. I need to learn to pray more fervently to be merciful. I need to learn the discipline of avoiding judging or retaliating and of pursuing mercy.

If I am merciful, then I will be shown mercy. This is a blessing indeed, and one that secured my salvation when I was never merciful. I have since been shown still more mercy by God and by others and it has been a cause of great relief and humble gratitude.

Am I pure in heart?

More so each day. My heart has grown more pure in the rightness of its emotions and desires and inclinations. Any actions that have changed for the better have stemmed from a change in my heart, from my growing love for God and people. Only with a change in heart is such change in behaviour really possible and genuine. Only a mighty God can change a person's heart.

And yet my heart keeps all sorts of pride and nastiness. Often small things, but no less ugly for their size. And it keeps its wrong tendencies and temptations and defences. All is not well.

If I am pure in heart, I will see God. Wow. When I am in heaven, pure in heart, I will see him face to face. And even now, as my heart grows more pure, I know and understand him better and I grow closer to him. I begin to see him, and he is wonderful.

Am I a peacemaker?

Sometimes. I am sometimes able to be calm and to see, and perhaps address, the cause of another's anger.

I need to learn to do this even when I get emotional, when my buttons are pushed. I need to learn to treasure harmony.

If I am a peacemaker, I will be called a son of God. Wow. This is the esteem in which God holds peace and peacemakers. This is how his own mercy and forbearance are shown to be glorious.

Am I persecuted because of righteousness?

Sometimes. My friends and family do not always understand my priorities and perspectives. They believe I am being foolish or harsh or irresponsible when I am trying to be good.

And yet they never abandon me and they support me. And sometimes they are critical because they can see my evil more clearly than I.

If I am persecuted because of righteousness, then mine is the kingdom of heaven. I prove myself worthy of the crown when I stay righteous whatever the consequences or the situation, just as the prophets did. We should look forward gladly to our great reward in heaven.

In All Circumstances

“Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

'He committed no sin,

and no deceit was found in his mouth.'

When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” 1 Peter 2:18-25

This is godliness – to love Christ so dearly and follow him so closely that though it may be hard work it is never forced. To have no need to ready myself to be particularly Christ-like in a particular situation, but to step out with him into all of life. And when I am confronted by unjust cruelty I should . . . hurt and I should . . . bear up.* Even as Christ did, out of his great love and mercy.

In my hurt I am unlikely to manage anything more than bearing up silently and avoiding unkindness. I will probably need to close myself off until my hurt passes. I may need to escape the situation rather than sticking around having to interact – which is likely to end badly. All this may be interpreted as unkindness, but better this than what will come out if I open my mouth.

It is appropriate to be hurt, but my thoughts or emotions may also grow sinful. I may become bitter or angry. As fiercely as I keep my mouth shut, I need to ask God to change me.

In some circumstances, the hurt will never pass. But if I am blessed by my hurt easing, then I keep on living as Christ. I should use my renewed energy and peace of mind/heart to forgive, to be appreciative, joyful, open and kind. I should treat the person as if they never hurt me and as if they will never hurt me again. I will leave myself open to cruelty, for I am more concerned about caring for the other person than about looking after myself. I rest safe in the knowledge that my God loves me and has an eternal home for me. I know he will sustain and comfort me as I faithfully follow him in this world.

So the solution, as always, is to grow in our love for our Lord and our desire to please him. And, as always, we cannot do this alone, but only with God's great comfort and help. He knows how much I need it.

*We should bear up in circumstances similar to that of the slave/master described by Peter. However it is good to protect/defend yourself or others in dangerous situations – for example, where there is domestic violence. And in any situation it may be good to make use of the laws and legal system we have been given today.