In a recent sermon Bernard Cane spoke about the shame we sometimes feel for being Christian. He described a typical spiritual conversation:
“Oh did you see that doco on SBS on Sunday night? It was really good!”
“Well I was at church on Sunday night actually.”
“ . . .”
“ . . .”
He went on to say that “It's a bit too generous, isn't it, to call those conversations sometimes. They're more non-conversations if anything. You know, there's such a stigma attached to being a Christian or being a church goer that, well you come within a bull's roar of Christianity and the pulse on the conversation just flatlines and you're waiting for the crashcart of any other topic of conversation to come along and, you know, give a bit of life back into things.”
I’m back in Tassie for the summer after a year at a Sydney Bible college, so this is a phenomona I’m very familiar with. It’s taken me a while to feel comfortable just telling people what I do, but I still find myself reluctant to speak any further. There's an almost palpable sense of approaching something taboo, something highly offensive, indecent and discourteous. These are some things that I find helpful:
Recognise that, while good news, the Christian message is indeed profoundly offensive. At its heart, the Christian message is that whatever your efforts and successes, you and your listener are shot through with evil and are without hope in the world, heading for an eternity in hell. Christianity says there is only one solution to this situation – to sincerely confess your sinfulness to God so that he will forgive you, and to give your life over to following Jesus Christ. This is not the sort of thing we normally chat about.
Remember that the Christian message is good news. We have been given the words of eternal life. However stupid or foolish or rude you feel, sharing the gospel is showing someone the way to life, rich and lovely and forever. You are doing nothing wrong by talking about your faith. In fact, you are being most kind.
Remember that however confident, intelligent, kind or well adjusted your friends are, if they don’t know and honour the Lord Jesus, then they are acting with profound foolishness and sinfulness. They need to hear about and receive God’s mercy – just like you did and anyone does.
As you talk to your friends remember to: fear God more than you fear their opinion, to be happy and proud to be God's child, to love and respect them, and to be humble.
Pray at the outset and in the midst of conversation. You can just ask God to “Help!”.
Even at its best, a spiritual conversation is probably going to feel awkward and a bit unsuccessful. Don’t retreat, stay with it. Don’t get hung up on failures along the way, persist with being friendly and aim for a generally clear conversation.
If you can, think of one thing you’re aiming for in the conversation (eg that the person you're talking to would read Matthew/Mark/Luke/John, that you might outline the gospel, that you might explain how it is that people are not 'good enough'). Let other things pass.
If you are worried about being discourteous, ask about their experience of church or their spiritual views.
Remember that God is pleased to work through our feeble efforts. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t say something the best way. It’s not about getting it right, it’s about faithfully serving God.
Pray for your friend after the conversation. Think back on how it went. If you need to get back to them about something, do so. If you need to apologise for something, do so. Work out how you might answer their questions better next time. You might want to get help from people who have the gift of evangelism.
And be sure not to just hang about waiting for an opportunity to speak. Genuinely love your friends and acquaintances; get involved in their lives, care for them. Do the humble, undignified jobs that no one rushes to do (washing the dishes, entertaining the kids). Be there for them. Rejoice in their joys and mourn in their losses. Trust that God will give you opportunities to speak along the way.
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