Perdonado y amado

I worked out what was missing from all my other attempts to describe my ministry here - heart. And if this would be a problem in Australia, it's way more so in Chile where everyone's emotionally aware and any talk of feelings really resonates. So I stopped trying to capture everything precisely and got talking about my passions.

So here we have it - my 'Vision Statement':

As they read the Bible, I want women to get to know their God, and learn what it means to live as people who have been forgiven much and are much loved. 

And the Spanish version: Quiero que las mujeres conozcan a su Dios mientras estudien la Biblia, y aprendan lo que significa vivir como gente que ha sido perdonado y amado en gran manera por él.

How to talk with each other

This is just as good as dialogues get. There's deep, deep, wide-ranging thought and gracious, open, lucid discussion. I can't bear to pick one bit to quote because the standard of what is said is so unfailingly high. And, interestingly enough, another student from my poetry course suggested it to me - thanks!

Lines for an abortionist's office

                                                      **warning: long post ahead**

I'm in the middle of an online poetry course and we began this week considering Ruth Lechlitner's "Lines for an Abortionist's Office". In our online discussion forums, one of my fellow-students wrote:

This poem is so relevant for today, when "state"s are trying to pass "personhood" laws, granting a zygote the full protections of the law, while ignoring the woman who has just conceived. I know a woman who had a second trimester abortion, due to significant chromosomal abnormalities of her (wanted) baby. At the time (I've not verified this recently), there were no instances of these infants surviving the first year. Most died in utero, some were stillborn, but a few did survive the birth. When I talk of this case to anti-abortion advocates, I always ask them to give me a reason why the State has any compelling interest to force my friend to continue her pregnancy -- and to leave any mention of God out of the discussion, as Freedom of Religion is a cardinal concept in the USA. Never have I received an answer that doesn't fall back on "God's Will" or some variation thereof. Personally, I find it sad and ironic that an issue of the 30's still resonates today, some 80 years later. The arguments haven't changed -- only the degree of fetal viability at earlier and earlier gestational states. I would never insist that any woman have an abortion, no matter the circumstances. But neither would I stand in the way of any woman who has made such a difficult decision. 

And so our short exchange began. I've reproduced it here (in full and with my correspondent's permission) in the hope that it might be something of a helpful model for anyone who struggles with what to say about such delicate, heated topics.

Me: I'll have a go. I don't want to talk about your friend, so but I think it's helpful to think about such a terrible situation as this. So let's make up someone else who let's say didn't find out about their baby's significant chromosomal abnormalities. So they had the baby and now it's an infant of seven months. Let's say it's a boy and its name is Mike. I guess he has severe disabilities and may also be very sick and having to spend time in hospital. So my question is: in these circumstances, would it be okay for her to take him to a clinic to be killed?

For me, my answer to that question will always be the same as my answer to your question above ("I always ask them to give me a reason why the State has any compelling interest to force my friend to continue her pregnancy"). This is because I think that the fetus is just a very new baby - far less developed than a newborn baby of course, but then a newborn's far less developed than a five-year-old (etc etc). This all comes home to me when I see friends doing things like posting ultrasound photos of their fetuses on facebook, giving them names, and stopping drinking alcohol.

Of course, the situation imagined above isn't that of all women who have an abortion. As far as I'm aware, most women abort a fetus that is without disability, so my question becomes: would you take your healthy seven-month-old to a clinic to be killed?

My questions may seem unnecessary shocking, but my goal isn't to shock - rather, this is honestly how I see this issue and I don't think the discussion goes anywhere much without getting to the heart of it.

My correspondent: Thank you for your well thought out and cogent response, Fiona. I appreciate your point of view, but I think you underestimated the problems of THIS pregnancy. The child, had it survived birth, would never have left the hospital. It would have been on life support (respirator, tube feeding, dialysis, etc.) until death. And yes, it would have died. Would you go to extraordinary lengths to keep that little "Mike" alive? Or would you have allowed him to die? Bear in mind that respirators, dialysis, etc. can be very painful. Would it have been possible for you to choose to not intervene and let nature take its course?

My friend had limited financial resources, and no family nearby. She also had a small child at home. She and her husband worked long hours to provide for their little family. For that family, abortion was the option that made the most sense, even though it was a very difficult decision. Had their life circumstances been different, then their decision might have changed. Or not; who's to know? So if this situation happened to you or someone close to you (and I sincerely hope it never happens to another family, anywhere at any time), and you had the resources to cope with the stresses and chose to continue the pregnancy, I would fully support you. I would NEVER say you "should" have had an abortion. Abortion is an extremely personal decision.

When it comes to first-trimester abortions, it is often too soon to know whether a fetus is healthy. When it comes to second-trimester, though, I would strongly disagree with your assertion. When my friend had to travel a distance away to obtain a legal abortion, there were obviously other women having the same procedure. Why were they there? One had a heart condition that was worsening; her doctors thought she wouldn't survive. One was 13 years old and didn't know she was pregnant earlier. Of all the women there, not a single one was someone who waited, who couldn't make a decision earlier, or was callous enough to wait to feel a viable fetus before aborting. For each, it was a difficult decision.

I understand that abortion would not be an option for you, under any circumstances, and that's fine. I just don't feel that you, or anyone else, has the right to make that decision for me.

I thank you for your response and willingness to discuss this issue, in light of this poem.

Me: Thanks for your measured response - nice to be able to actually discuss such a heated topic. I'll make my reply and then bow out (well unless an extremely good reason comes up).

I was trying to create a made-up situation so as not to talk about your friends, but thank you for showing me how awful the reality was. I can't imagine what that would have been like for them. I have friends who had a fetus with similar problems. They chose to continue the pregnancy and the little girl (I can't remember her name) died a few days after she was born. I can't imagine how terrible that path would have been either.

However, even though we've clarified the situation, we are talking past each other!! So let's make Mike four days old now, with severe disabilities and very sick and in hospital :(. If he is going to die naturally :( then I see absolutely no reason for any sort of heavy-handed medical intervention - it would be better to allow him to die. But abortion is very different to this. So I return to my original question: In these circumstances, would it be okay for his Mum to take him to a clinic (or in this case, ask the doctors of the hospital) to have him killed?

And are there boundaries? What about a healthy four-day-old? (In Australia, around one in four pregnancies are terminated, so I'm assuming the majority of these fetuses would have been healthy.)

And if your answer to one or both questions is, no it wouldn't be okay, then my next question is: What's different about this same child when it was, I dunno, ten weeks old inside its mother's uterus? What is the difference that would make it okay to kill the child at ten weeks inside, but not at four days outside? Sure, it can't survive by itself, but neither can a newborn, or a two-year-old for that matter.

Okay that's me. I thank you again for your willingness to explore this issue. I really mean it! :)

My correspondent: Fiona -- who would have ever thought that a poetry course would be a medium for discussing abortion politics? Surely, not me. I think the basic difference in our perceptions is one of potential. I think you see (and I could be way off base, and shouldn't assume, but I'm doing so based upon what you wrote above) that every fertilized egg is a person, and we should all celebrate the potential that is inherent. Accurate? Whereas I see a collection of cells that does not yet qualify as completely human. If the pregnancy continues, then yes a human will result. But I have seen studies that show that Mother Nature is the biggest abortionist of all -- that up to 60% of fertilized ova never go on to a positive result -- that of a newborn baby.

Here in the US, there are those who feel that birth control that might prevent implantation is equal to abortion, even though medically, a pregnancy does not exist until implantation. They are thus, against hormonal contraceptives -- the most effective form of contraception. What it all seems to boil down to is that a fertilized egg is more important than the woman who carries it. This is a position I simply cannot accept. Before fetal viability, I believe that the mother is the ultimate decision maker about what happens to and in her body, and that no one (save maybe a fetus' father, depending upon the circumstances) has any right to tell her what she must do. No one else knows the circumstances; no one else knows her anguish. Faced with the choice of a potential human or a definitive human, I'll go with the definitive woman every time.

Does this mean there are some women who will abort for selfish reasons? Yes. Do I decry their choice? Yes. I will, however, defend their right to make that choice. To say that abortion should be illegal because of a percentage of selfish women is to deny a necessary medical procedure for others. I have known many women who have had abortions. Most experienced contraceptive failure. They thought long and hard about their decision. They weighed their options, looked at their life situations, and made a difficult choice. In my life, I have only known one woman who refused to use contraception, using abortion as her form of birth control. I consider her acts reprehensible, but feel this is the price we must pay, as a society, to ensure that millions of other women have choices.

And no, I didn't forget about 4 day old Mike above. While no one would take a 4 day old child to a clinic to be "killed," to think that doesn't actually happen is probably wishful thinking. I believe that physicians assist with patients' deaths all the time, but dare not admit it. Who is to say that the "overdose" of morphine in a terminally ill cancer patient was accidental, especially if death is imminent anyway? If I was suffering, nearing certain death, I believe that I'd rather die a few days earlier, more comfortably, with a modicum of dignity, than hang on for that extra week, in agony, putting my loved ones through a tremendous amount of suffering. In a way, both these circumstances (abortion and euthanasia) boil down to the autonomy of the individual. A woman bears the responsibility and choice in pregnancy. I think that the sick and suffering also have a choice.

Believe it or not, I've enjoyed these discussions. It's difficult to have much sharing of ideas with many on "the other side" (whichever side that may be). Such strong opinions and emotions tend to make one less civil and to me, THAT's the real downfall of society. So thank you very much, Fiona. Even with our differing opinions, I think we could be friends -- if we didn't live half a world apart. Take care.

Me: I did say I was only going to chime back in if an extremely good reason came up... well this will have to suffice! Just wanted to return thanks to you too for your graciousness (and for answering my questions) :). God bless, Fiona

My correspondent: Just a last thought, Fiona. I don't know if you're familiar with the works of Arlo Guthrie, songwriter/folksinger and son of Woody Guthrie. Arlo is famously liberal and proud of it. In a concert, he said that he'd made some "friends he didn't expect to make." That it was more important that someone cares, whether on "either side of any issue." Our discussion has brought that point home to me in a way I've never felt before. There's nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree, and to do so respectfully is a sign of great caring and willingness to learn what the "other side" is all about. Thank you for that.

Time, planning, intensity, exuberance

There are a few ways in which I feel more at home here in Chile than I do in Australia. Let's begin with time and planning. So far the flexible approach to these things is making sense to me. (We'll have to wait and see if I do an about-face once I start being responsible for things about which I care.) Now, generally speaking, I'm a very organised person, yet there's a complexity, messiness and unpredicability to life that gets in the way of attempts to be punctual or efficient. And it can just be stressful trying to push on through as if these extraneous things weren't there.

Despite my organisation, punctuality is something that doesn't come easy to me. The only way I can manage it is to make myself very focused on the task ahead. So even if some of what I have to do is having coffee with other people, life ends up feeling like a string of tasks. But in Chile, I'm free of that and able to focus on whatever's at hand, or simply be. So if I'm pfaffing around getting things done or misjudging how long it will take me to get ready or make it there, it's okay. Well, not always - there are some situations and some people who will care, but, generally speaking, lateness isn't even something you need to apologise for.

Chilean life also allows me to be a bit hopeless (or introverted). If I haven't got on top of my emails, or am having trouble deciding if I'll go to an event, or I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by people and things, I can just do the Chilean thing and let it slide. Not reply to the email and not show. Of course it's not Chilean - or Christian - to be doing this all the time (well perhaps for some Chileans it is :P), but it's fine every now and then. That's just how things roll and no-one takes it personal. Things don't get thought of, mapped out and nailed down in advance. It's the reason why the morning of any appointment, one of the parties will get in touch with the other person to check it's still going ahead, and why it's no big deal if they say they can't make it any more. And the beautiful thing is that there is a way of doing this without damaging relationships - you just be warm and welcoming when next you see them. That way both parties know there was no offence. Again this flexibility stops me seeing people-related tasks as duties. The appointments are changeable, but the relationships remain constant.

There's a third way in which I feel more at home here, and it has to do with intensity and exuberance. I'll start with the second one, because that's the way relationships usually go. Chileans are expressive and warm - greeting someone or sending them an email are occasions of enthusiasm and affection. This comes pretty natural to me, but because it's not a particularly Australian trait I'm 'forced' to reign it in there. But here I can 'be myself' - I can even be a bit over-the-top sometimes and people (I think) just see it as a sign that I care. And then, when you get talking about something, especially something personal or political, it's completely normal to be intense. (You also don't have to shut up anytime soon: it's okay to talk your listeners through every detail... sometimes this gets a bit much!). People don't get weirded out by your intensity or take offence at your strong opinions - they know you're just being honest. Folks know all about emotions - indeed they are something of the currency of life here.

Opening the book

Our Bible understanding starts to go astray when we open the book looking for what God is saying to us. We read John 15:11, "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete", and see that it talks about joy, so we turn to other passages that pick up this theme and conclude by exhorting our brothers and sisters to be involved in each others' lives, sharing one anothers' joys and sorrows. This is true and good but not exactly what the verse from John 15 is about, beginning as it does with: "I have told you this so that...". Clearly it must have something to do with what John has said just before - "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love". It's through obeying Jesus' commands that we will remain in his love and realise the joy spoken of in verse 11. Of course, many of these commands have to do with community, and yet community is not the focus here - obedience is, or love, or joy, or the Son's relationship with the Father, or all of these things.

If we never stop and wait to hear what a part of the Bible actually says, then it is all too easy to only ever pick up the themes that interest us, those topics we already understand. God's Word is for his people, it always has relevance for our everyday lives, but that doesn't mean it's always about us - sometimes it's just about him and that is exactly what we need to hear.

One story

I know I've been going a bit LinK-CRaZy of late. I don't this blog to be like that, but it's just that lately I've come across some cool stuff. I'll get back to my usual ponderings soon. But for now, here's an interview with Mikey Lynch, my dear mate and one-time pastor and MTS trainer. God has done big things in his life - he's a great guy with a lot to offer the Christian, and atheist, community. He writes a blog too.

Homosexuality

Nathan Campbell of St. Eutychus has been posting all sorts of helpful comments and links about homosexuality and the same-sex marriage debate, so I thought I'd share some of them with you (along with the link from the other day).

This first one is another, this time more detailed, outline of the Christian approach to homosexuality. 

And here are two personal testimonies (one and two) about living with same-sex attraction written by a couple of mature Christian men. And, finally, Nathan's response to these testimonies.

Sweat the big stuff

I sometimes really care if things are true - like, for example, the number of words in Spanish versus English; of which English - a quick google search tells me - has double. I get all riled up inside if someone gets this wrong. Patently, I need to get over myself. I do not want my concern for biblical truth to come from the same place as my concern for the counting of words. I do not want to be the sort of person who is thingy about orthodoxy simply because it is correct, like some sort of primary school teacher for the world.

Yet in some ways I want to be even more thingy about biblical truth, because it matters far, far (far, far, far, far, far) more. But there's the rub - I want my reaction to be based on its import. I want my head and heart and all parts to be troubled when something so important is got wrong; rather than that mean-spirited, peering, list-keeping part of me (where is that part?) that cares so much about the unimportant stuff. I want there to be love bound up in it all. I want my reaction to consider where the other person's at and what would be helpful for them right now... all of that.

All of Rockhampton needs Jesus

Another great link - this time to a Letter to the Editor about the place for homosexuals in the church.


... oh and in case you're wondering, I had a fantastic time down south. You can see the photos (which I'm super happy with) over on my other blog (just look for the heading fotos del sur).

The eternal

Illuminating and helpful article about sexuality, what it points to and what this means for people, married and single.