Leadership

I've hesitated to write this post because I don't want to come across as feeling sorry for myself. I don't - life is hard, this work is hard, that's the deal in a fallen world and I deserve no better. And what's more, I love my work and enjoy its many blessings. It's just that I'm dealing with some of its difficult aspects at the moment. I do love serving everyone and it is generally a joy and an honour to do this, and people are usually considerate and caring.

I guess my hope is that this post will help people have a better understanding of what it is to be a leader, to have a greater respect for the people who are called to this role and to be eager to support them. And maybe if any fellow leaders read this, they will find it helpful to have a bit of the problem and solution articulated.

When I wrote about leadership in November last year, ten months after beginning this job, I thought I had finally worked out what it was about. This is what I said: “Christian leadership involves three things – setting a good example by godly character and conduct, teaching and serving others.” Nine months later, to my initial distress and overwhelment, I’ve realised there’s more to it.

I have found myself trembling at what is probably to most people, the easier, more obvious end of leadership – to lead with the authority, assuredness and untiringness that the word conjures*. I’ve realised that I find the good character and serving side of leadership a lot more comfortable and, in a sense, easy. But then I’ve never been one for thinking or doing things in an orthodox way! To properly lead, I must throw off my insecurity and my pursuit of approval and love. I must forget these things, forget my self. And I must lead, though I’m sometimes weak, though I’m afraid I’m not good enough and I won’t know the way. Though I would like to be led.

I must forget myself . . . and I must also take on responsibility for all the people under God and in my care. I must give myself to these people, listen to them, get to know them, support and encourage, rebuke and teach them.

How can I do so much? How can anyone do so much?

I do it because He did more for me. I do it because it is right for me to do, because I’ve been given the skills and character to do it. I can do it because I don’t have to have all the answers and have my shit together – for my confidence is in Him. I can do it because I won’t be neglected, but will find true security and healing in Him. I can do it because I have Him to lead me, as well as my pastor and my brothers.

I can do it because it is He who is in control and the ultimate responsibility rests with Him. I can do it because He is a loving God who will not ask more of me than I can bear, or if He does, will give me the strength for it.

I can do it because He gives me the brothers and sisters and friends that I need. It is good for me to spend time receiving support and enjoying the company of these good people.

In weakness, I have learned why it has been hard for me to do these things. And in weakness I will continue on, leading with confidence (in Him) and knowing He will give me all the support I need.

*Also by: being aware of the symbolic value of what I, as a leader, do; bringing people together; recognising gifts and opportunities; ensuring that the things I start will carry on; creating opportunities out of people’s enthusiasm or complaint; predicting flow-on effects; assessing actions in light of goals (I can do this last one at least!)