Womens' events

I don’t always like womens' events. I think that's because people often don't seem to be themselves. Everyone tries really hard to be polite and friendly and the topics of conversation are kept to what is safe and shared (raising children, clothes, husbands, common bungles or annoyances). I think this happens because we want everyone to feel included and the event to be harmonious. We also fear the opinions of other women. Just stepping into a room full of women can make us feel either insecure and unconfident, or competitive and self-promotional. This is made worse when we don’t know all the women at the event, because we really want these strangers to like us and we don’t want to embarrass ourselves or our host.

We end up trying way too hard. We need to relax, stop worrying about what the other women think of us, and be sincerely respectful, interested and caring. Women in charge of running events can create a helpful atmosphere by conveying their acceptance of everyone (perhaps by dressing down, being laid-back about protocol and acting the clown). They can also put on calm, happy music, provide yummy food and drink and make sure that women who don’t know anyone are looked after. The running of the event or the layout of the room can be engineered so that more intimate conversations are encouraged. It can also help to let people know what will take place, what will be expected of them and assure them that they won’t be asked to do anything embarrassing.