An Open Letter to my Socially Conservative Brothers and Sisters

Dear family,

I hope you’ll indulge me because I’m writing to get something off my chest. Since moving to Sydney at the start of the year I’ve been struck by the social conservatism of people in Christian circles. Social conservatism is something that, for a number of reasons, I shy away from, so I’ve found living amidst it both a frustrating and humbling experience. This letter is the result of my trying to work out what is valid and constructive in my frustration, as well as what I have been overlooking. See what you think.

I’ll begin by listing the concerns I have with social conservatism.

1. Social conservatism leads to Christian cliques. Not much life is lived outside of the clique.

   Christian cliques cause us to lost touch. We don’t know what’s going on for other people in society, what they’re thinking and feeling. Fewer opportunities present themselves to care for people, and anyway, we don’t know them well enough to know what would be considerate of and helpful for them.

And when we try to care for them in the one way that all people need caring for – by telling them the reason for the hope Christians have – we find we have forgotten how to do this in normal, not Christiany, language. We are unable to explain how Jesus answers people’s hopes and fears because we don’t know what their hopes and fears are.

2. Social conservatism is what people will notice. People already think that Christians are the people who don’t swear, drink, dance or have sex before marriage. If we don’t swear, drink, dance or have sex before marriage then I suggest they will look no further. We would do well to work out what Christianity is and isn’t about, and, if that’s at any point different to social conservatism, we should probably change our behaviour so that people will notice what Christianity is really about.

3. Social conservatism goes dangerously close to adding unnecessary rules and restrictions to the gospel. We need to think about the things that are normative for our Christian circle, the things that everyone does (dressing conservatively and without creativity?) or that no-one would think of doing (going to a nightclub?). Are these things loving or upright – or are they just easy and safe?

Jesus became sin and died for us so that we might have life to the fullest, so that we might look forward to being with him in heaven and live beautifully everyday on earth – forgiving people who hurt us, not complaining or gossiping, being generous with our money and possessions and time, being honest and reliable. Don’t detract from his glory by living as if other things are the important things.

These are my concerns. But I know life is complicated and the rightness of how we live also has to do with the reasons and motivations behind our actions. So I’ve also come up with some ideas about why Christians end up being – or remain – socially conservative:-

1. Because the world’s a scary place. People don’t share the Christian outlook or values. They may think less of us or treat us differently or even be hostile. Socially awkward or embarrassing situations may arise because of what people know we believe. People can be cruel and hurtful and the world can be a violent and dangerous place. Leaving the relative safety, warmth, acceptance and unity of the Christian clique can be terrifying.

2. Because the world’s a tempting place. You step into a club and there’s a soft porn clip playing. You catch the bus and teenage girls are mouthing off and saying crass things. Your friends all break the road rules without a second thought and expect you to do the same. And you know from experience that it doesn’t take much before you find yourself doing things you know are wrong and you later regret.

It's wiser to keep away from dodgy situations and to stick to black and white rules about how you’re going to live – the grey areas can be dangerous.

3. Because our upright living and morally conservative views make us most closely aligned with socially conservative people.

4. Because life seems pretty black and white. It seems pretty obvious what’s right and wrong and what it means to live as a Christian.

I’m very glad I took the time to think about these motivations – because it turns out they’re either unavoidable or great! My respect goes out to anyone who is socially conservative because of these things. God has made us all different and some people are tougher and more gutsy and more disciplined than others. It’s just the way it is and we each need to be aware of our weaknesses and failings and do whatever we need to to look after ourselves. The last thing I want this letter to achieve is for you, my brothers and sisters, to end up sinning.

Having said that though, my concerns about social conservatism still remain. So I just ask that you keep in mind what I’ve had to say. And don’t forget that if you pray to him, God will be pleased to give you strength and grace to live as a child of light even in the midst of darkness.

In closing then, my brothers and sisters, I’d just like to say thanks to our Lord and God for making you and me and bringing us all into his family. Let’s continue to live in unity, respecting our diversity and learning from each other. xox your sister Fiona