Putting your elbows on the table and swearing

I swear in Hobart 'cos no-one seems to have a problem with it. I don't swear in Sydney 'cos I don't want to grieve people who think it's wrong (Romans 14:14-15). I've been challenged to think more about this lately, and to really try and work out if it's right for me to swear at all. I think there are two issues when it comes to swearing.

The first is to do with motive and emotion and conscience. We’ve got to ask why and in what circumstances we swear. Is it in anger or aggression? Does it happen when we lose self-control? Is it against God or belittling him? These things are all very bad and if they are the reason we swear, we should stop swearing and work on the underlying sinful desire (James 3:7-10; Matthew 12:36-37; 15:17-20). Now I know that not everyone reading this will be quite able to believe me here, but I say to you that my conscience is untroubled when I swear. I chose to swear – it doesn’t happen from a loss of self-control. I love using the English language in all its richness, and swear words are one of the things I use to add emphasis and colour to what I say.

The second issue concerns the meaning and social function of the words themselves. This is to do with how the English language currently works. The Bible is clear that we shouldn’t speak in obscene, crude, destructive or impious ways (Ephesians 4:29; 5:4; Colossians 3:8), so if we think that swearing fits any of these we should certainly abstain. In a recent post I said:-

I think that the obscene meaning of these words has been lost, leaving only a useful emphatic function.

With the exception of using the names of God as swear words, I do think this is true. I mean who thinks of blood seeping everywhere when they say “bloody”, or of people having sex when they say “fuck”? The words have lost the meaning they once had. And what’s more, it doesn’t look like all those meanings were even particularly bad or obscene to begin with. What’s so offensive about blood!?

But if these words have lost their meaning, why do some people still think they’re bad? I think it's because they have stayed in a ‘naughty’ category.

So where does this leave me? It leaves me thinking about putting my elbows on the table. I have no idea why my Mum thinks it’s wrong for me to put my elbows on the table. I don’t think she knows why either. Maybe it’s because there was once something genuinely offensive about it, or maybe it’s because her Mum told her not to do it. So, like swearing, putting your elbows on the table is considered rude by some people. This means that for me both things become a question of courtesy. And I really value courtesy.

So I still think it’s okay for me to swear. But I'm going to try to be a whole lot more courteous about it. I'm only going to swear if I'm pretty sure you haven't got a problem with it. And, while I welcome feedback, I ask you not to judge me, just as I will try not to judge you :-) (Rom 14:2-4).