Fiona the Life Coach

I've interviewed people at the MTS Challenge conference before and felt out of my depth, like I didn't have anything much useful to say. I must've learned a thing or two since then, cos I had no trouble reeling off advice to younger women trying to work out their life's direction. Either that or I've just become more opinionated. 

If you're really pumped for your current study/job, then devote yourself to that. Work out how to be a Christian accountant or security guard and do it wholeheartedly. Don't do an MTS apprenticeship - it's not designed to be experience for its own sake, but for a particular end (to work out if you're cut out for fulltime paid ministry and to prepare you for it). The only reason you'd do an apprenticeship is if you're considering doing part-time paid ministry and part-time 'secular' work. Then perhaps you should give a part-time apprenticeship a burl - keeping in mind that it's tough to do both well. 

If you can't knock a particular sin on the head, think if you've understood God's freely-given grace. If it's still a mystery, then pray hard about it and concentrate on getting your head around it and your heart in love with it. Keep battling with your sin, but cut yourself a bit of slack and don't expect too much until you have better understood his grace.

If you struggle with some church teaching, work out why it bothers you. It could be a wrong cultural or upbringing thing, in which case you can't make it go away but you can stop it from affecting your actions and decisions. It could be an understanding the Bible thing, in which case you should weigh up the very best arguments on both sides. You don't have to do this stuff alone either - you can recruit your pastor or a friend.

If you really believe your non-Christian friends are heading to hell, then you will want to obey God's command to make the most of every opportunity to evangelise them. But don't lose the rest of the Bible's teachings in the process, or your God-given humanity. The God of urgency also commands us to speak with gentleness and respect. And if your friends reject your message, then you are to love them still and keep on enjoying life with them.

Consider holding off on getting married until you've hurt each other bad and had to work through that, and until your relationship has lost its thrill and become 'normal'. It's a massive decision, so take people's advice on board, but also know that there are no hard-and-fast rules when it comes to romance. It's a mysterious thing and the most healthy marriages can have had the most messy starts. In the end it comes down to whether you are happy to commit to this person for life.

If you're flat out doing Christian activities, stop and think about where your primary responsibilities lie. First up should be your church, your immediate family (of birth or marriage), (your boyfriend/girlfriend), and your studies/job. Then comes your parents and siblings if you're married, your friends, and any other Christian ministries you're involved in. Think if you're doing a good job of your primary responsibilities. If you're not, you may need to cut back on something from the secondary rung. Remember that the world won't fall apart if you do - God will sort things out.

Don't think that being a Christian physiotherapist or teacher is the same as being a pastor or youth worker. Peppering your working days with conversations about Jesus doesn't always play out - often the reality is that you're simply too busy doing your job to talk about anything meaningful. Probably the most luck you'll have is with your workmates, and even then lunchroom chatter can be pretty bitchy or bland. It's still a profoundly valuable ministry to plug away at being a productive and reliable employee and to go out of your way to show care and concern for your colleagues. You may be the only Christian that people know and that is a precious thing. But it could be that you would be more effective if you worked fulltime for the church.

If you already do a bit at church, you enjoy what you do and think you might be okay at it, then you should begin to consider fulltime paid ministry. The best way to do this is to ask people who know you what they think your gifts are and what they think of the idea, and to keep on having a go at things. Push yourself; try things outside your comfort zone - you'll get a better idea of what you're capable of and you might just enjoy it. If you have a passion for something or someplace - maybe you love teaching teenagers or you are fascinated by Chile - then take that seriously. Our God is the sort of God who would (generally speaking) have us love what it is we do.

If you're considering fulltime paid ministry, then do an MTS apprenticeship. The whole point of it is to give people a try - so there's nothing to lose. If it ends up not being for you, then you've gained some valuable experience and skills and you'll be an excellent support to your pastor. But only do it if you can find someone who would do a great job of supervising you. Just because they're a great pastor doesn't mean they'll be a great trainer. The apprenticeship stands or falls on how good your trainer is.

Don't think that you have to finish your uni degree. You probably should: it's good practice to finish what you start and it could be helpful later on. But you don't have to if there's good reason not to.

If you have hesitations or concerns about going into ministry, take them seriously. You don't have to go into ministry - you must be willing and eager. It can be a tough gig and it's unlike other jobs. You do have to have a certain amount of toughness or resilience, especially if you're a woman. Even if your concerns are sinful, they are still there and need to be dealt with.

If you're thinking of being a missionary, the first step is to have a look at your church involvement here. It's pretty unlikely that you'll be able to contribute in another culture if you're not doing so in your own. Work out if you're a leader or not. You can still go if you're not, but it will affect the sort of roles you should consider - you'll need to go to help out with something specific or to do your regular job and live as a mature Christian in a place where they may be few and far between.