Suffering well, in a godly way, may be the hardest thing you will ever do. But it is the best way to do it - for yourself now, for your growth and for God's delight in you. Suffering in a godly way does not mean you will be free from experiencing extreme pain and sorrow. It will double you over; you will moan as you walk hunched and stiff; you will sob in your room; you will be unable to start or continue working. Suffering is not a good thing. It is clearly wrong - part of this fallen, screwed-up world. There will be no suffering in heaven. And yet, in the midst of all this God is in control and working.
What to do:
The most important thing is to be convinced of the importance of suffering in a godly way. To remember and strive for this. Then when you are tempted to suffer in a sinful way you will have reason to resist and ask God for help.
In the midst of extreme pain, all you can do and all you need to do is to cling to God, to cry out to Him. This doesn't have to be with words. He will hear you and understand if you moan or cry or make no sound.
When the pain is not as great, the life of the suffering person feels very different but is, in a sense, much the same as before. All you have to do is work hard, serve and be served and worship and rely on God in all that you do. It is true that working hard and serving others will mean different things for the suffering person – you probably won't be able to achieve much. That's okay. God sees everything you do and knows exactly how hard it is for you. He sees your heart's good purposes and your hard work.
But being able to live like this is not straight-forward or easy. The following suggestions should help.
Continually bring everything to God in prayer. This might sound like added hard work on top of the struggle you are already experiencing – but it's not. It's a relief to pass each difficult thing to God, for Him to deal with. It's good to ask God to stop you from trying to deal with it by yourself.
Ask God to bring you comfort and peace and to take the weight of your pain. Ask Him to give you the ability to bear up under the pain, to give you strength to get through the day and to give you the perseverance to keep going from day to day.
Remember God's unshakable love for you, shown by sending His beloved Son to die for you. Pray that you would more and more come to know and find comfort in the love the Father and Son have for you.
Remember the sure promise of heaven, where there will be no more pain. Where we will forever rejoice and be glad with our Father. Pray that your faith and comfort in this will grow more and more.
Remember that God is in control of everything. Remember that He is somehow using this situation for your good. Remember that through your suffering God will make you more like Christ. Pray that you would continue to remember these things and be assured of them. Pray that you would be glad of them.
Remember that God knows and understands exactly how broken and hurting you are.
Pray for deliverance from the sins tempting to suffering people – blame, hatred and bitterness towards God, yourself or others; wrong actions in a desperate attempt to ease the pain; refusing to even countenance the reality of what has happened; unkindness to others; feeling sorry for yourself; despair; fighting what's in the past.
Recognise that your suffering is legitimate. You are not a failure for feeling this bad and finding life this hard.
Don't expect too much of yourself. Do what you can each day and be happy with that. Tell people from the outset if you need help fulfilling your responsibilities.
Rest and relax whenever you need to and have the opportunity to.
Cry as often and as much as you need to and is helpful to.
Read about suffering in the bible or listen to sermons about it (eg Psalms, Romans 8, 1 Peter, Revelation 21).
Seek out the company of your brothers and sisters in Christ who will love you and can remind you of God's truths.
Be honest with others about how you're going.
Don't be afraid to ask others for help, or to accept offers of help if you would like to. What you find helpful might be different to someone else, so it's okay to let people know what's helpful for you.
Trust in God.
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