Taking over

When you find yourself in a group of people, before you say anything, look around and think about the people who are there. Consider if any of them have positions of authority over you or if they should be shown honour. For example, I think that it is appropriate for me, a youngish, Western female to submit to men and to show honour to older women and perhaps to non-Westerners.

If you do find anyone who fits these bills, keep your mouth shut. Resist the urge to take charge. Sit there silently and look to the man or the older person to take the lead, and if they don't step up, pray that they will.

If we say we believe that it is better for some people to lead, then we need to actually give those people the chance to do it.