Church for 'my type'

I often feel a bit disconnected in churches and I'm beginning to wonder if it's because I belong to some sort of sub-culture. If it's just my issue it's not important, but I wonder if my experience might be typical of others, Christian and not.

What's do I think my sub-culture is then? Nothing too radical – just middle class, educated, gen X and perhaps a little bit 'alternate' with it. So here's some beginning reflections:-

Emotion

My type's reserved. Actually I'm at the passionate end of my type – and yet I'm still my type. If I'm expected to walk into a church and sing with emotion and abandon, I can't. I can better express my love for my God if I'm allowed to do it more mutedly. Though I do get better once I've had a chance to 'warm up', particularly after the sermon.

Aesthetic and manner

My type notices these little things and finds it jarring and uncomfortable when they're not 'as they should be'. It's not even necessarily things like the church organ or the lame modern hymnals. These are to an extent expected, and some may even carry an institutional, traditional charm. It's more the all-pervasive churchyness that makes my skin creep. It's graphic design from the 80s and praying in a rhythmic, entoned voice. It's flower arrangements and dressing up for church. Consulting 'my type' is the only way to fix this stuff.

Mind

This is an area where I think we should be somewhat counter-cultural, but where I think churches often mimic the local culture.

In our culture my type rarely talks of serious things and then only certain serious things. Religion and death are not mentioned. As Christians, we need to talk about these things, to help each other and to share the hope that we have. But we need to do it meaningfully, sincerely and naturally. In my church, there's an unspoken awareness that just after a sermon is not the time to talk of weighty things. We're all still mulling over what we've heard. We'll return to serious things if the conversation takes us there. In this way I think we should be the same as the wider culture. But we should be different in that when the time is right we don't beat a verbal retreat but do talk about weighty things – even religion and death.

Getting this stuff right for my sub-culture will no doubt mean it is wrong for the other groups in our community. So I guess it's a matter of considering who you are aiming to make comfortable in your church meeting. If your target group is not 'my type', then I guess these factors can be minor considerations. We also need to remember and be reassured that the most winning thing about Christianity is the message of Jesus' mercy shown us on the cross and the good lives this message causes us to live.

Simon's Funeral

This week I went to a funeral for a man I had the honour of knowing a little. He had suffered greatly in recent years and I am so glad that we have a merciful God who did not let him suffer more than he was able, but took him home. I never expected such mercy and kindness. In the world's eyes Simon was an just ordinary man, a single guy who didn't have a job. But I've little doubt that in God's eyes he was one of the great men of our faith, and for that, his reward in heaven will be great. If I can ever learn to love God as well as Simon, to follow Christ as resolutely and to treat others as kindly and generously as he did, I will be glad.

Simon was a Christian and a Catholic. His funeral service was beautiful and many truths were spoken and praise given to God. There were a few points, however, where I felt uncomfortable because Jesus was subtlely dishonoured and his once for all sacrifice diminished. I was expecting this though, so it wasn't a big suprise. What did surprise me was the emotional effect it seemed to have on the congregation - it seemed like their lack of certainty about Simon's fate caused them to suffer some anxiety and gloom, where there might have been praising.

Thank God for taking Simon home! Thank God that Simon is with him, the Saviour he dearly loved! Rejoice at the awesomeness and wonder and joy of it all! Thank God that, though our pain will be great and we will dearly miss him, there is nothing to be sad about for Simon. He has been released from all pain into rest and joy and praising. Rejoice for he will be enjoying a great reward for his faithful, persevering, loving, humble service! Praise God for the comfort these truths, being truths, bring!

Going to a Church for the First Time: The Gospel Assumed

It has been said that the first generation believes the gospel, the second assumes the gospel, the third forgets and the fourth denies. I recently visited a church where the people were caring and the gospel was assumed. This is how I remember the church I grew up in, although I might not have been paying proper attention, listening instead with a rebellious, hard heart.

When the gospel is assumed, the explicit and demonstrated teaching of the church focuses primarily on people's response. We are taught that God is awesome and good and that he loves us, but we are not told how we know this is true. We are told we can have a relationship with God, but we are not taught how or why this relationship is possible, or what part we have to play. The emphasis is on us loving and praising God. This is not wrong, but it is incomplete. It would be so easy to explain the how and why that is the gospel - that creates the possibility of and reason for our response. The heartbreaking thing is that if this is not explained, we may fail to know God at all and certainly not in his fullness. As a consequence, praise and love becomes forced or misguided. We don't understand what Jesus has saved us from or to, and we don't know the surety of our forgiveness and of our eternal life. We don't know the reason God the Father sent his Son, in our past, for our future – for his glory. This knowledge should be at the centre of all we know.

When the gospel is assumed, we also fail to be taught how to find this knowledge. This too is a tragedy because we end up praising a God each Sunday that we never hear from or speak to for the rest of the week. We forget that we must first approach him in repentance and faith. We forget that because of the gospel, God will continue the work he has begun in us. We forget that for this to happen, we need to get to know him by reading his Word. And we forget that our growth also depends on our praying to him, sharing our lives with him and depending on the God who has shown himself to be dependable. These actions should be the fabric of our lives.

As a result of all this we lose the reason and the courage to kneel in repentance before the cross; we lose the assurance of our forgiveness; we lose reliance on the Holy Spirit's sanctifying work in us; we lose hope in the bright future that eclipses this sorry world and we lose the desire to do all things only for God's glory. Instead, Christianity is reduced to experiencing God now, like so many other religions and spiritualities.

There is nothing wrong with experiencing God now, but this experience is only gained when Christianity is rightly understood and lived. In true Christianity, God's decisive work in our world in the past and his promise of a future teaches us how to come into relationship with him and gives us great joy now. As we learn more about his unchanging character and his work, we know him better, we love him more and we experience his love for us. Knowing God, we end up with nothing but heartfelt praise and love for him.

Going to a Church for the First Time

Good things:

• Someone official on the door to welcome, chat briefly and direct to coffee (so the new person has something to do with themselves)

• The door person introducing you to someone else (the new person doesn't want to bother the door person as they're obviously busy, but would love to have someone to talk to)

• Tea and coffee available, with cups etc all handy

• Gospels and church info packs available for free

• A congregation member sitting next to you and 'adopting' you – in a relaxed but caring way

• The MC giving simple gospel/doctrinal (eg re prayer) outline, using bible references

• MC pausing briefly after songs, for reflection or whatever

• Budget including giving to missionaries and the denomination (so falling short of the budget includes falling short of these)

• Preacher giving page numbers when turning to bible verses

• Response cards – and enough time to fill them out

• Monthly Do in a cafe where non-Christians can come along and ask questions

Bad things:

• Heaps of songs (this could just be a personal thing)

• Women only up front leading music (gives the impression that they are in charge of the whole church)

• Set words for confession (not my words, not speaking from my heart and spoken too quickly)

Unsure things:

• MC speaking at audience level, and bible reading and preaching happening from on high (emphasises the importance of God's Word, but may also convey importance of person reading/preaching)

• Each announcement made by relevant individual rather than just one speaker (draws your attention and makes the things they're announcing seem important – may be good to use when announcements are important, and not when they're not)

• Preacher could encourage the congregation to pray about the sermon after it's finished