Church for 'my type'

I often feel a bit disconnected in churches and I'm beginning to wonder if it's because I belong to some sort of sub-culture. If it's just my issue it's not important, but I wonder if my experience might be typical of others, Christian and not.

What's do I think my sub-culture is then? Nothing too radical – just middle class, educated, gen X and perhaps a little bit 'alternate' with it. So here's some beginning reflections:-

Emotion

My type's reserved. Actually I'm at the passionate end of my type – and yet I'm still my type. If I'm expected to walk into a church and sing with emotion and abandon, I can't. I can better express my love for my God if I'm allowed to do it more mutedly. Though I do get better once I've had a chance to 'warm up', particularly after the sermon.

Aesthetic and manner

My type notices these little things and finds it jarring and uncomfortable when they're not 'as they should be'. It's not even necessarily things like the church organ or the lame modern hymnals. These are to an extent expected, and some may even carry an institutional, traditional charm. It's more the all-pervasive churchyness that makes my skin creep. It's graphic design from the 80s and praying in a rhythmic, entoned voice. It's flower arrangements and dressing up for church. Consulting 'my type' is the only way to fix this stuff.

Mind

This is an area where I think we should be somewhat counter-cultural, but where I think churches often mimic the local culture.

In our culture my type rarely talks of serious things and then only certain serious things. Religion and death are not mentioned. As Christians, we need to talk about these things, to help each other and to share the hope that we have. But we need to do it meaningfully, sincerely and naturally. In my church, there's an unspoken awareness that just after a sermon is not the time to talk of weighty things. We're all still mulling over what we've heard. We'll return to serious things if the conversation takes us there. In this way I think we should be the same as the wider culture. But we should be different in that when the time is right we don't beat a verbal retreat but do talk about weighty things – even religion and death.

Getting this stuff right for my sub-culture will no doubt mean it is wrong for the other groups in our community. So I guess it's a matter of considering who you are aiming to make comfortable in your church meeting. If your target group is not 'my type', then I guess these factors can be minor considerations. We also need to remember and be reassured that the most winning thing about Christianity is the message of Jesus' mercy shown us on the cross and the good lives this message causes us to live.

Paul's Passion II

Paul's letter to the Philippian church is full of joy. Let's find out why he's so happy and strive to be the same.

Paul prays “with joy” because the Philippians are his family and his co-workers in the gospel, and because God is working in them to make them perfect at Christ's return. “I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:4-6) As his brothers, they are in his heart, sharing in God's grace. They are his joy and crown. He loves and longs for them and is cheered when he receives news of them.

Paul's joy will be made complete if the Philippians are “like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose . . . in humility consider[ing] others better than yourselves . . . look[ing] not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (2:2-4). For this reason he rejoices greatly in their Christ-like character when they support him financially.

The brothers in Philippi also rejoice in their relationships. Their joy in Christ Jesus will overflow when Paul is with them again. They will be glad to see their brother Epaphroditus again. Indeed Paul commands them to welcome him “in the Lord with great joy and honour men like him, because he almost died for the work of Christ” (2:29-30).

Let's see our Christian family as Paul does. Let's love them! Let's rejoice in their progress!

Paul also glories in Christ. He considers it a surpassing greatness to know Christ Jesus, who:

“being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.” (2:6-11)

Paul wants to know “the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings” (3:10). He eagerly awaits his heavenly Saviour, who “will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body” (3:21).

And so he rejoices whenever Christ is preached, even if it's from false motives. He eagerly expects and hopes that he himself will exalt the Lord Jesus, whatever the circumstances, even in death. In fact, he so loves Christ that it is his desire to depart and be with him. So it comes as no surprise that three times in his letter to the Philippians, Paul tells them to "rejoice in the Lord" (3:1; 4:4).

Let's know Christ as Paul does. Let's rejoice in him! Let's learn to love him more than life itself!

Unbelief and Prostitution

This is not, in this pluralist age, how we think of atheism or belief in non-Christian religions. God is speaking:-

"There were two women, daughters of the same mother. They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed. The older was named Oholah, and her sister was Oholibah. They were mine and gave birth to sons and daughters. Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem.

Oholah engaged in prostitution while she was still mine; and she lusted after her lovers, the Assyrians-warriors clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, and mounted horsemen. She gave herself as a prostitute to all the elite of the Assyrians and defiled herself with all the idols of everyone she lusted after. She did not give up the prostitution she began in Egypt, when during her youth men slept with her, caressed her virgin bosom and poured out their lust upon her." (Ezekiel 23:2-8)

This is how God sees these things. And this is how he responds:

"I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.

There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

"In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master. '

I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips;
no longer will their names be invoked.

In that day I will make a covenant for them
with the beasts of the field and the birds of the air
and the creatures that move along the ground.
Bow and sword and battle
I will abolish from the land,
so that all may lie down in safety.

I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion.

I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the LORD.

"In that day I will respond,"
declares the LORD—
"I will respond to the skies,
and they will respond to the earth;

and the earth will respond to the grain,
the new wine and oil,
and they will respond to Jezreel.

I will plant her for myself in the land;
I will show my love to the one I called 'Not my loved one. '
I will say to those called 'Not my people, ' 'You are my people';
and they will say, 'You are my God.' " (Hosea 2:14-23)

The Preciousness of Being Wronged

It is in being wronged that I have learned the bankruptcy of my own efforts and my desperate need for grace.

When I am wronged, I find myself unable to do what I should do. I am unable to be merciful or forgiving or kind. When I'm wronged, I don't even desire these good things. I don't mourn my ugly reaction – my anger, bitterness and hate.

I, who have caused much wrong, am indignant. I, who have been forgiven much, am unforgiving.

And it is only by grace that I know right from wrong, only because God has spoken.

I know my thinking and speech is very wrong, though I don't hate it. And I know what is right, though I don't desire it. So I pray. And God does things through me that I could never do.

A Gentleman Dancer

Here's my suggestions as to how men can be gentlemen on the dancefloor, where chivalry stills reigns – or should. Maybe someone can write and tell me how women can be ladies (I am one*). The only thing I know about this is that we should always keep dancing. No matter what happens, whether you screw up or they do or whatever, we should keep dancing. But I'm sure there's more. Anyway, to the point at hand:-

• Start dancing with the easy stuff. If the woman's nervous, keep doing this until she's relaxed and comfortable.

• Always be gentle with her (but not so gentle she can't tell what you want her to do). This will make her feel respected and appreciated. If you're getting a bit behind and need to fling her to make it round in time, don't. You'll both enjoy the dance much more if you just miss that move.

• Keep it interesting, but not too interesting. That way she won't be bored but she won't be stressed out and dismayed either. Dancing at her level shows you're accepting of where she's at.

• And intersperse the interesting bits with some easy bits so she can have a bit of a rest and regain energy and focus. This is especially good for appreciating the music and for slower, more cruisy points in the song.

• Smile (or at least don't look pissed off) when she screws up. This will help her to stay relaxed and enjoying the dance.

• If you critique her dancing do it gently/tentatively, so she'll feel encouraged to improve.

• When the floor's crowded, dance simply so she feels safe.

*a Little Britain reference

Being

Church work is more about being than doing. I am continuing to learn this. So it goes with all profound truths

Until recently I have regarded spending time with God – reading his Word, speaking to him in prayer – as an essential underpinning of my faith and my service and teaching. This is not quite right. Time spent with God should be much more than this for a Christian leader, and maybe for every Christian. It should instead be the focus and climax of my day. All else I do should be because I am inspired and directed by this time with God. My teaching should not be teaching so much as sharing wonders! I should follow the Psalmist's example:

“Though rulers sit together and slander me, your servant will meditate on your decrees. Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors.”

“How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!”

“My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises.” (Psalm 119:23-24, 103, 148)

The First Sin

What sin was it that brought about such disaster and punishment?

The first sin happened just after the creation of the heavens and the earth “in all their vast array” (Gen 2:1) by an all-powerful God who “saw all that he had made, and it was very good” (1:31). This God chose to make people in his image, in his own likeness. He let people “rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground" (1:26). He gave them “every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it” (1:29). He planted a garden in the east and there he put the man. He made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground – trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food (2:8-9). He brought all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air to the man, for him to name. And when no suitable helper was found for Adam, the LORD God made a woman and brought her to the man, so they might become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame (2:25). The LORD God put them in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. He granted them freedom to eat from any tree in the garden, with the exception of one – the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

This is the kind of world in which the first sin happened. This is the kind of God against whom the first sin was done. He is a God who gives generously, abundantly. He is a God who gives his created people good commands, for their good. Some were positive - “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground" (1:28) – and one was negative – “you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die” (2:17).

The woman and man were not satisfied with God's good provision and with fulfilling his commands. Their sin was to prefer the fruit of a tree to relationship with God. They chose appetite and aesthetic over God, the Maker of the Garden of Eden, that place where there were many trees “pleasing to the eye and good for food” (2:9). They were not happy to follow God's wisdom, but wanted their own. They listened to the serpent, Satan, instead of to God.

Why were they so stupid?

They were looking out for themselves and they were prepared to deny God in the process. When the serpent asked “Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?”, he was insinuating that God's good commands were actually restrictive rules. Then the serpent bluntly indicated that God was lying and didn't have the people's interests at heart – “ 'You will not surely die,' the serpent said to the woman. 'For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.' “ (3:4-5).

The woman listened well. She could see in front of her that “the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom” (3:6). God was denying her these good things.

Are we like Eve and Adam? Do we, like our brother Asaph, say “Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence” (Psalm 73:13)? Do we yearn for things that might be? Do we become grieved and bitter at the lot God has dealt us?

We should flee such senselessness and ignorance! Flee such sin! Join Asaph in concluding:

“[Y]ou hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (73:23-26)